In the (concrete) jungle, the mighty (concrete) jungle, Primark lives in sight. Though if you've ever been to Primark, you'll know that it really is a jungle in there and can feel like a giant blur if you don't know 'the protocol' for a rewarding trip.
Within the blooming aisles of the super-sized underpriced mecca lies an epically perfect pair of leather laser cut gloves, an iconic set of horrendously hot hoops, a £5 pair of kick flares you didn't know you needed, and a whole lot of other treasures you'll only find if you know how to successfully navigate Primark.
As a veteran of Primark and a non-discriminatory trend hunter, I've got some tips to snag some awesome pieces from Primark in under sixty minutes and six quid.
1. Never take your shoes off at a party
Rule number one is simple: don't, under any circumstances or any stretch of the imagination, think it's a good idea to go in the dressing rooms. If you're heading to Primark for anything other than accessories or a good groutfit, you'll assume that you need to try things on, but don't be daft and find yourself in a two hour queue whilst your friends are throwing back Bloody Mary's on a sunny Saturday.
Solution? Dress the part.
In order to effectively try on clothes in under 20 seconds and have a mirror whilst doing so, minimise time spent clipping chokers together in the accessories aisle, or be able to pile as many rings on your fingers to scavenge to the tills, be sure to have the right outfit on.
The only time super-thin, skin-tight sheen leggings and seemingly vacuum-formed tops are allowed to be worn together in public without a coat is when embarking on a trip to Primark. By shedding a big coat or extra layers, you can easily slip on clothes over your leggings, saving you from the unearthly hell that is the queue for the dressing rooms.
In terms of footwear, be sure to choose something you can run in, but slips on and off easily, because tug of war with the perfect £2 trousers is real.
2. This is not the time to make it rain, even though it's cheap.
Trust me, I am the first one to impulsively buy a drop dead Sequoia silk skinny strap dress and grab every pair of denim that fits me, but when skimping for gems on a budget in Primark, a bottomless wallet is not allowed.
Solution? A safe bet's a good bet.
Bring in a set amount of money, and stick to it. Trust me, you'll be much happier that you didn't spend £136 on poorly made, child-labour produced sunglasses, jeans, and sun hats. *My suggestion - £60 is the perfect limit to come home with a quarter of a new wardrobe, not be too disappointed that your wallet's a bit thinner, and you won't be eating couscous for the rest of the month.
3. Have a SKUued perspective going in
The one time I'll ever tell you to go in with a narrow mind, is when going to Primark. Do you research first! Look online, collate your Pinterest boards, chat to your friends about the glossies. Whatever you do, don't go in for "a wander" at the world's largest superstore.
Solution: Put in the work - because it's worth it.
Find the nearest store, make your shopping list, and conquer.
Right - so are you feeling a bit more ready to jump into this?
Excuse me whilst I play human Tetris to attempt to join the queue for the tills..
Well, I hope I've given you a few tips to be prepared for what's in store for you at Primark - literally; and that's what it takes to win in an urban safari, people. Best of luck!
What's the best thing you've ever discovered at Primark? Tag me or DM on Instagram (@blog.blog.blah) with a brief description for your chance to win. A £30 gift card will be awarded for the best entry!